shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
