Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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