its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I skipped work to stalk him.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
