Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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