I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
