I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
