Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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