I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Houston, we have a squirter
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
