Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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