So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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