no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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