She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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