How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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