We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
