I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
