Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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