I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The adults are the big ones right?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
