He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize