Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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