Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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