I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
