he wants to bone in the snuggie
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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