Have you finally orgasmed yet?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dear god my vagina.
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