Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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