Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
