you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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