I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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