So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
