haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
