What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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