sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
