what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
