first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
