I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Fuck appropriateness.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
