I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
