I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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