in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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