AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Green mimosas i think yes
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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