I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
