In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
