He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
