How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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