he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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