I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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