I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
