On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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