Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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