Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
