so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
