I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
