please come you make the beer taste better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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