I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
