the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
