When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
