Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
