Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
