some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
